Christmas Tree Week-- The first full week in December. It's the perfect time to point out the differences between a Christmas Tree and a date.

• A Christmas tree is ready when you go to pick it up.
• A Christmas tree won't retaliate if you dump it after a month.
• You don't need a clever line to pick up a Christmas tree.
• You can fondle a tree before you take it home.
• A Christmas tree doesn't mind you looking under it.
• A Christmas tree doesn't become envious around bigger trees. This would be known as treeness envy.
• A Christmas tree doesn't go completely to pieces if you mishandle its balls.
• You don't have to worry about who else has had your tree.
• A Christmas tree doesn't worry about how many others you've had.
• A Christmas tree doesn't object to exotic electrical appliances.
• A Christmas tree doesn't think your a whacko if it finds an artificial tree in your closet.
• The tree doesn't get upset when you tie it up and put it in the trunk to take it home.